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Transcript
  • [it started in the living room where Mario is exhausted]
  • Mario: (sighs) Such a long and exhausting day at work. But now it's time to watch some TV! (turns on the remote but then, Black Yoshi comes in the room)
  • Black Yoshi: Nah-uh! Na-uh! (shooks his head) No folk! Ooh no! You are not watching no TV right now. It's Call of Duty time!
  • Mario: Black Yoshi, I wanna watch some TV!
  • Black Yoshi: I don't care what you want, folk. You are not watching TV in this house. I'm playing Call of Duty, you'll get over it.
  • Mario: You had all day to play Call of Duty, it's my time to watch TV.
  • Black Yoshi: Too bad. Too bad, folk! I'm playing Call of Duty.
  • Mario: We're watching TV. Look, look, there's a Call of Duty commercial.
  • Black Yoshi: Ooh man!
  • Announcer: Go buy the Call of Duty: Black Ops III: Special Edition PlayStation 4 bundle. Only $500! Only the ultimate Call of Duty fans will buy it. Will it be you? Let's find out! (Black Yoshi turns to Mario)
  • Black Yoshi: You gonna get it for me, right, folk?
  • Mario: What?
  • Black Yoshi: You gonna get the new Call of Duty tonight at midnight man.
  • Mario: No, Black Yoshi, that's $500!
  • Black Yoshi: Come on, Mario please! After all the times I let you watch TV instead of me playing Call of Duty.
  • Mario: You never let me watch TV, Black Yoshi. That's $500! Why don't you just get the regular game for your Xbox? (Black Yoshi chucks his Xbox controller on the ground)
  • Black Yoshi: Man, I don't like Xbox no more, man! I want the PS4, plus, man, listen, it's black and orange like my Mohawk. See? (shows Mario his Mohawk)
  • Mario: Well that's the only reason you want it. It's because it's something new and you don't have it. You always want something you don't have.
  • Black Yoshi: Man I always, I always want stuff handed to me, man. And I don't have to work for it.
  • Mario: Listen to yourself talk, Black Yoshi! You only want that because of the colors, and it's more expensive, and you think it's better than yours. All you need is the game for your Xbox One.
  • Black Yoshi: Man come on now! You know I need this new Call of Duty.
  • Mario: You do not need--
  • Black Yoshi: I need--
  • Mario: Black Yoshi--
  • Black Yoshi: ...console--
  • Mario: If you--
  • Black Yoshi: I need the map packs, I need the controller.
  • Mario: If you want it so bad... you want it so bad, Black Yoshi. How about you pay it for yourself? You save up your money... how about you wait for Christmas? Maybe Santa will get it.
  • Black Yoshi: No no no no. I don't want no, no fat dude coming down the chimney go, "HO HO HO! Hand me the damn Call of Duty!" I don't want that man! Plus, if I have to wait till Christmas, if I have to wait till Christmas, folk, I ain't gonna be ranked up as high. So I'll look like a wussy, man.
  • Mario: Well, that's your first world problem "I'm not gonna be ranked up on Call of Duty!".
  • Black Yoshi: You wanna know what the first world problem is Mario?
  • Mario: What?
  • Black Yoshi: NOT HAVING THE DAMN GAME!!
  • Mario: Well, Black Yoshi if you want the game, You have to go buy it, okay? I'm not buying it for you. (leaves)
  • Black Yoshi: Man, how am I gonna get Mario to get me this game by midnight, folk? Jeez... (gasps) I know! (cuts to Black Yoshi about to cut the disc. Sniffs) All right man, I can't believe I'm about to do this, Call of Duty. (sniffs) But I have to. It's for the best. (opens up the Xbox One disc tray) Now, if I can just cut up my Call of Duty, and make it look like Mario did, then uh... then he has to buy me the new one. Alright, let's see. (uses the scissors to cut the disc) Yeah. Alright. Just a little bit more.
  • [cuts to the kitchen]
  • Mario: Oh man, I'm so hungry. (puts the bread on the plate) And this sandwich is gonna be so good!
  • Black Yoshi: Hey, Mario! (came with a disc, which is cut in half)
  • Mario: What, Black Yoshi?
  • Black Yoshi: You gonna get me a drink folk?
  • Mario: Why would I wanna get you a drink? I'm making a sandwich. Go get your own drink.
  • Black Yoshi: Alright man. Oh, oh, by the way, hey, hold this game for me real quick while I go get my drink.
  • Mario: Okay, fine, Black Yoshi, I'll hold your... (took the other part of the broken disc. Black Yoshi gasps)
  • Black Yoshi: Ooh, you broke it, man!
  • Mario: What?!
  • Black Yoshi: I don't even know what I'ma do now.
  • Mario: Wha--
  • Black Yoshi: Please, Lord, don't let me shoot this white boy.
  • Mario: I'm so sorry, Black Yoshi!
  • Black Yoshi: Oh my God, folk!
  • Mario: I didn't even mean to break it!
  • Black Yoshi: You are crazy man!
  • Mario: I didn't mean to break it, Black Yoshi!
  • Black Yoshi: Oh my God folk!
  • Mario: Don't shoot me! What can I do? What can I do?
  • Black Yoshi: Ooh, I don't know man. I think the only thing that can heal my broken heart is the new Call of Duty, man!
  • Mario: Well, I mean I guess I owe it to you since I broke this, I gotta get you the new one. Uh, how much is the new one like $60?
  • Black Yoshi: No man! I gotta have a console too.
  • Mario: That's $500.
  • Black Yoshi: $500 man!
  • Mario: Why do I owe you that? I only broke the disc.
  • Black Yoshi: My heart man! (sniffs) Man my hearts broken! And the only thing that can cure this. The new Call of Duty PlayStation 4 console man! (Black Yoshi sobs)
  • Mario: Well, okay. Is the stores even open right now to get it? (Black Yoshi looks at the time on the stove)
  • Black Yoshi: Yeah man, you got about 20 minutes. It's 11:40, man, you better go.
  • Mario: Okay, the midnight rush?
  • Black Yoshi: Yeah, you better go! Gamestop.
  • Mario: Okay, I'll get it, Black Yoshi! (leaves)
  • Black Yoshi: Oh! Don't forget the, don't forget the map packs! (sobs) My heart hurts, folk. Folk, he's got 19 minutes. (cuts to the living room on the couch) Where is Mario with that Call of Duty, man? (Mario returns from Gamestop)
  • Mario: (off-screen) Alright, Black Yoshi, I'm home. But I want you to turn around. I want it to be a surprise.
  • Black Yoshi: Alright, folk. (turns around)
  • Mario: Okay. Okay, Black Yoshi, I got you the coolest thing ever.
  • Black Yoshi: What is it folk?
  • Mario: It's super cool. Do not turn around until I tell you to, okay?
  • Black Yoshi: Alright.
  • Mario: I got you...
  • Black Yoshi: Uh huh.
  • Mario: ..A black and orange...
  • Black Yoshi: Uh huh.
  • Mario: ..Call Of Duty Black Ops III...
  • Black Yoshi: Uh huh!
  • Mario: ..Special edition...
  • Black Yoshi: Uh huh!
  • Mario: Turn around. Turn around. (Black Yoshi turns around to see the Wii U bundle) Wii U! Look at that, it's a Wii U. Look, look, look, it's black and orange, just like your Mohawk, okay? It's Call of Duty: Black Ops III: Special Edition. It comes with the game, and you know what's so amazing about it? Look, the Wii U. You can play it anywhere around the house, so while I'm watching TV. (shows Black Yoshi the gamepad) You can play the game on this little screen, okay? So I get to watch TV, and you get this game, and look at what the coolest part is.. This was only $300. The PlayStation 4 was $500. So we saved $200. I also got my Nintendo discount. So this was like $250. So, look, look, it's cheaper. It's better, and it's, it's, it's better for the both of us. Aren't you just so happy, don't you love it?
  • Black Yoshi: Mm-hmm. (shoots the Wii U three times with a Barnett crossbow)
  • Mario: Wha--? YOU SHOT IT WITH A CROSSBOW, BLACK YOSHI! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
  • Black Yoshi: WHO THE HELL, BUYS CALL OF DUTY FOR THE WII U, MAN?!
  • Mario: WELL I THOUGHT THAT WAS...
  • Black Yoshi: I DON'T CARE! GET YOUR WHITE BLUBBERED ASS DOWN, TO GAMESTOP! AND GET ME THE PLAYSTATION 4, CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS III EDITION, MAN, WITH THE MAP PACKS, FOR WASTING MY TIME, BEFORE I PUT ONE OF THESE ENDING ARROWS, UP YOUR WHITE ASS!! (Mario stutters) RUN AWAY, JUST DO IT!!!!! (Mario leaves while he drags the Wii U he shot) Man, I sure hope Mario got a protection plan on this. (cuts to the scene with the PlayStation 4 bundle with Call of Duty: Black Ops III) Oh man! Call of Duty! I love you so much, folk! This is most amazing! (smooches it)
  • Mario: You happy now, Black Yoshi?
  • Black Yoshi: Yeah man, I'm real happy, folk.
  • Mario: Your not gonna shot this with a crossbow, too?
  • Black Yoshi: Man, come on, you knew you had it coming man. Nobody wants a Wii U.
  • Mario: That was a perfectly good Wii U. I mean it was the Black Ops III Special Edition. It was black and orange and it, it had everything, and you just shot it! Why?
  • Black Yoshi: Man, nobody cares, about the Wii U. It's about the PlayStation 4, man.
  • Mario: Whatever, Black Yoshi. You have everything you need, so I can leave?
  • Black Yoshi: Let's see: we got the console, got the controller, got the game, got the box uh... oh! The PlayStation Plus. Where's it at?
  • Mario: The, the what?
  • Black Yoshi: The PlayStation Plus, man. The 1 year subscription, so I can play it online.
  • Mario: Wait, you have to pay to play online?
  • Black Yoshi: Folk yeah, nothings free folk.
  • Mario: Wha... I mean I didn't get that, Black Yoshi, I just got the bundle, this was all $500 and it didn't come with it? Okay, look, how about this Black Yoshi? How about you go buy the online subscription thing. Look, I already paid all this, okay? I'm not buying you anything else. Your gonna go buy, the online subscription, okay?
  • Black Yoshi: So your telling me, you ain't got it right?
  • Mario: I did not get it, Black Yoshi. Your gonna have to buy the online subscription.
  • Black Yoshi: Got some scissors?

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