[Chef Pee Pee is cooking in the kitchen]
- Chef Pee Pee: (off-screen and showing a box of mashed potatoes) Hmm... Mashed potatoes? (on-screen) More like mashed tomatoes! (starts smashing a tomato using a hammer and laughs) It's not much of a difference. I'm pretty sure they can't tell the difference: Mashed Potatoes, Mashed Tomatoes. Whatever. (uses a hammer to point at the tomato) Mashed tomato. (uses a hammer to point at the box of mashed potatoes) Mashed potato. Look the same, a little bit. I'm pretty sure they can't tell the difference. (Chef Pee Pee's stomach starts rumbling) My stomach's growling! I'm tired of cooking for everybody else! I need to find some food for myself. (puts the hammer down on the stove and sighs) I'ma find something to eat.
[cuts to the scene in the pantry where Chef Pee Pee's looking for something to eat]
- Chef Pee Pee: (groans while looking in the pantry) I'm starving! I need something to eat. Something I could cook in, less than 5 minutes. What. (looks around for food that could be cooked fast, but he can't find anything) No, not pears. (keeps looking around) Not green beans. (before he keeps looking, he saw a box that says "Bowl Appétit!" and gasps) Bowl Appétit! Oh, Bowl Appétit! Bowl Appétit! Bowl Appétit! (puts the box down at the table and sighs) Bowl Appétit. (sighs while reading the flavor) Three-Cheese Ro--. (tried to spell the word out, but he can't pronounce it) Roti--. Rotin, ro--. Ro, ro, rotin?
- Bowser: (standing there) Chef Pee Pee! I need you!
- Chef Pee Pee: What, Bowser? I was just about to eat, man. Bowl Appétit!
- Bowser: (shouts) I don't care about tits! I WANT SOME FOOD!!
- Chef Pee Pee: Okay, Bowser. What do you want me to make you? Just tell me.
- Bowser: All I want, is some succulent, creamy, you know, gold and brown, fluffy... (thinks of another word) Um... what's another good word, um... Succulent, cookies! That's all I want, it's some good cookies! Like mommy use to make.
- Chef Pee Pee: Like mommy use to make?
- Bowser: Yes. Like momma use to make. (starts feeling depressed about his mommy and about his cookies) She never made me any cookies. Why didn't you made any cookies, mum? WHY DIDN'T YOU MADE THE COOKIES, MOM?! I know you hear me, mom! Where are you? I know you can see me, too! You're up there, I know you're up there! Why didn't you made me any cookies? It was dad, wasn't it? He was always at working, AND TAKE THE COOKIES WITH HIM!! WHY?!! (starts bawling) WHY DID HE TAKE THE COOKIES, CHEF PEE PEE?!?! (starts shouting over his dad taking his cookies) WHY'D YOU MAKE ME THE COOKIES, CHEF PEE PEE?!?! DOES YOUR MOM MAKE YOU COOKIES?! I KNOW SHE DID!! I KNOW SHE DID!!! CAUSE EVERY MOM MAKES THEIR FAVORITE KID COOKIES!! WHY DIDN'T SHE MADE ME ANY COOKIES?!?! MAKE THE COOKIES!!!!! MAKE THEM NOW!!!!!! YOU HAVE GOT 5 MINUTES!!!!! MAKE THEM!!!!!! (walks away depressed, and Chef Pee Pee looks at Bowser, the awkward way)
- Chef Pee Pee: Uh... I would've just make the cookies. Uh, all you had to do is ask me. Didn't know you was going through so much. I'll make the cookies. (Chef Pee Pee places a roll of Phillsbury cookie dough on the table and sighs) Chocolate chip cookies. Just like momma use to make. Now, all I need is--
[Toad just comes out of nowhere when he sees Chef Pee Pee]
- Toad: Hey, Chef Pee Pee! What are you doing?
- Chef Pee Pee: What do you want, Toad? Not, the right time, I'm need to make these cookies. (points to the cookies)
- Toad: (gasps) Cookies! You got cookies? I wanna have some cookies! I wanna make some cookies! Can we make some cookies? I wanna help, I wanna help! Can we make some cookies please? PLEASE! Chef Pee Pee please?!
- Chef Pee Pee: Okay, okay, okay! You can help. Just go and get the pan from over there. (points to the cabinet where the pans are) Over there.
- Toad: Oh, okay. (he's right at the cabinet) Yay! I'm helping! (starts singing Milk and Cookies) ♩Milk and Cookies! Milk and Cookies! Milk and Cookies, making milk and cookies! Milk and Cookies! Milk and Cookies! (Chef Pee Pee interrupts his singing)
- Chef Pee Pee: (Bowser's voice) Hurry up!
- Toad: Okay, okay. (opens the knob of the cabinet) Um... pan. Pan-- (he opens the cabinet, and all the dish materials are falling off of the cabinet, but he found the right pan to use) Found it!
- Chef Pee Pee: (face palms and sighs because of his stupidity) Stupid. Just put the pan over there, Toad.
- Toad: Okay. (puts the pan on the table, but he slammed it, and hurt Chef Pee Pee's ears)
- Chef Pee Pee: (puts his left hand on his left ear) Ow!! Why did you do that?! You're hurting my ears!
- Toad: What are ears?
- Chef Pee Pee: (starts getting a little grouchy) You IDIOT!!
- Toad: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your ears or whatever. Um... but I promise I won't mess up again. What can I do? What am I gonna do now? What's next? What's next?
- Chef Pee Pee: Just go, and get a knife. We have to open up the package. Just go, and get one knife. Okay?
- Toad: Oh, okay. (laughs)
- Chef Pee Pee: What have I done! (slams his head on the table, because he should've trusted Toad)
[at the next scene, Toad is going to look for the knife Chef Pee Pee is asking for]
- Toad: Hmm... a knife. A knife. (pulls out a knife, thinking it's the right one) Yeah, this one's good. (goes right into Chef Pee Pee, pointing the knife at him) Chef Pee Pee, Chef Pee Pee-- (stabs Chef Pee Pee in the eye with a knife by accident, but it's not an accident)
- Chef Pee Pee: (covers his left eye) *Beep* WHAT THE *Beep* IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU POKE ME IN MY EYE!! (groans while his eye is bleeding) YOU SON OF A *Beep* UCKING *Beep* ING MUSHROOM!! WHAT THE *Beep* IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!
[while Chef Pee Pee's eye was injured, Toad just put a band-aid on his eyes]
- Toad: There you go, Chef Pee Pee. All better. I'm so sorry.
- Chef Pee Pee: (groans and starts getting grouchy) Don't talk to me! Don't talk to me at all!
- Toad: You don't have to be grouchy. I'll just take the cookies off for you. I'll open up everything. (looks at the package) Hmm... which side do I open? (looks at both left and right of the package) Left or right? Um... Eeny meeny--
- Chef Pee Pee: I GOT IT! I got it, just move! (moves the package of cookies to the side, and finished opening the package) Okay, I just open up the package of cookies. Now all I need you to do, Toad, is go and set the oven on 350. Three-five-zero. Okay? That's all you have to do. I will get it ready in the pan, and all you had to do is set it to "Three. Five. Zero"! Okay?
- Toad: Okay. (goes to the oven) Yay!! ♩Baking in the kitchen! (presses the bake button) ♩Baking in the kitchen! (keeps pressing the up arrow button. He skipped the 350 temperature) ♩Making cookies, that's all I'm gonna heat for Chef Pee Pee! Think he said, Five-five-zero. (presses the button, until he reaches 550) That's a little too hot, but that's okay. (presses the bake button)
- Chef Pee Pee: (sets up the last ball of cookie dough on the pan and sighs) Finally done!
- Toad: I set the oven to five fifty!
- Chef Pee Pee: You set the what?
- Toad: I set the oven.
- Chef Pee Pee: Oh, okay. (sighs) Now we have to do is put the cookies in the oven. By time you did something right, Toad. I appreciate it. Now can you put these cookies in the oven? That's all you have to do was put them in the oven. Can you do that, Toad?
- Toad: Uh... sure. I can do that, and I can do anything.
- Chef Pee Pee: You better. Now go. Put 'em in the oven. Put 'em in the oven. (Toad carried the pan of cookies and starts taking it to the oven)
- Toad: (sings while putting the cookies in the oven) Cookies! Cookies! WHOA!!! (he starts shaking, and the pan is heavy for Toad to put it in the oven. He almost dropped it) That was close. (closes the oven door) Now we just gotta wait.
- Chef Pee Pee: Okay, Toad. All I need you to do is sit and watch the cookies. I have to go and check on my eye that you *Beep*! Okay? All you had to do is watch the cookies! Okay?
- Toad: Okay. (Chef Pee Pee walks out of the kitchen to check his eye)
- Chef Pee Pee: (far from Toad) Don't get distracted, Toad.
- Toad: I won't. (stares at the cookies) Don't get distracted. Don't get distracted. Don't get distracted. Don't get-- (he saw a cat running by him and gasps) KITTY!! (he walks to the dining area to look for the kitten. He wasn't watching the cookies) Kitty! I know you were there. (he keeps searching for the kitten, but he can't be found) I'ma get you, come out of there. Come here, where are you?
[the sign says "25 minutes later", Toad just kept on looking for the kitten. Chef Pee Pee came to the kitchen to check for the cookies, and Toad]
- Chef Pee Pee: He better have taking the cookies out. (he didn't see Toad anywhere) Toad, where are you?! I hope he got the cookies, please. The cookies. (opens the oven door, when all of a sudden, the cookies were burned) ARE YOU SERIOUS, TOAD?! YOU BURNED THE COOKIES!! (puts the pan of cookies to the table) They're burnt, I can't believe you, Toad! WHERE ARE YOU!?! (groans apoplectic) WHY'D YOU BURN THE COOKIES!! TOAD!!
- Toad: (comes to the kitchen) Chef Pee Pee, I was looking for the kitty.
- Chef Pee Pee: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST BURN THE COOKIES! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I SPENT, WORKING HARD WITH YOU?! THE WHOLE TIME JUST TO MAKE COOKIES, YOU BURN THEM!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!! DO THESE LOOK LIKE, (points to the burnt cookies) YUMMY COOKIES MY MOM WOULD MAKE, DO THEY?!?
- Toad: I don't know, uh... they look chocolaty, I mean, I would eat 'em.
- Chef Pee Pee: NO! NO THEY'RE NOT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! (points to these cookies) THESE COOKIES ARE ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!! I WOULD NEVER TASTE THESE IN MY LIFE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BURNT THEM!! WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO TO FIX THEM, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, DO SOMETHING!!
- Toad: Um... um... (puts a band-aid on the cookie) I caught it. (laughs) All better, you see?
- Chef Pee Pee: (he thinks that Toad's idea was stupid, so he kicks him out of the kitchen) GET OUTTA HERE!!! GO!!!!!
[the text says 10 minutes later, and Chef Pee Pee just got done putting band-aids on every cookie]
- Chef Pee Pee: Okay, I use Toad's method of fixing the cookies. (sighs) I hope Bowser likes it. I hope he just doesn't come soon.
- Bowser: (sees Chef Pee Pee) Chef Pee Pee, where are my cookies?
- Chef Pee Pee: Um... (points to the cookies that are band-aided on the plate) They're right here, like you see 'em. Just like mom use to make, right? (laughs nervously) Uh... she was blind.
- Bowser: (inspects the cookies) I can't believe you! THEY'RE PERFECT!
- Chef Pee Pee: (gasps in surprise) You actually like them?
- Bowser: (off-screen) Yeah. I eat 'em with a fork! (stabs Chef Pee Pee with a fork by mistake, but it's NOT a mistake)
[Chef Pee Pee covers his right eye which was stabbed. The censor beep sound was unknown]