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  • (A set of Dominos are seen lined up.)
  • Chef Pee Pee: And one right here... I'm gonna need some more dominos. I've got to make this super long! Okay, its finally finished! My row of dominos and my house of cards is complete! My doctor said I needed a stress reliever because Junior and Bowser are stressing me! Oh ho ho, and I think this is it!
  • (Scene changes to the living room. Thomas is on the table and Junior is blindfolded)
  • Junior: Okay, Thomas. Today, we are going to play "Blindfolded Ball in the House". Doesn't it sound fun? Okay, so the rules are:
  • You gotta take this ball, and throw it into THAT lamp right there.
  • Alright, so I'm gonna throw it at it. (Throws it into the air. Time is now slowed down as it nears Chef Pee Pee's dominos.)
  • Chef Pee Pee: (Slow motion) Oh no! (Normal speed) No! Please! (Ball bounces off the cabinet and misses) Thank you, Baby Jesus!
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee! (Sets the dominos off)
  • Chef Pee Pee: WHAT THE HELL?!
  • Junior: Have you seen my ball?
  • Chef Pee Pee: What is wrong with you, Junior?
  • Junior: Wait, what?
  • Chef Pee Pee: I spent all morning stacking these stupid dominos and freaking cards! Ugh! What is wrong with you?!
  • Junior: Uh, what are you talking about? (Sets more off)
  • Chef Pee Pee: JUNIOR!
  • Junior: What are you doing in the bathroom, Chef Pee Pee?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Why?! Why the- (pulls the blindfold off of Junior) We're not in the bathroom, you idiot!
  • Junior: Oh, Chef Pee Pee! You made a huge mess!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh, so I made the mess. That's what it- that's what happened?
  • Junior: Where's my ball at?
  • Chef Pee Pee: I don't know. What the hell is wrong with you? What are you talking about?
  • Junior: Ooh. Did I make it into the lamp? (walks off)
  • Chef Pee Pee: Junior. Junior!
  • Junior: ooh! Score! I got it in the lamp, Thomas!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Junior! Why? Just tell me why did you have to do that. I spent all morning stacking up those stupid dominos and damn house of cards!
  • Junior: Well, that's pretty stupid.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Look, I don't judge you. It was a relief stress. You keep on causing it!
  • Junior: Well, I made the ball in the lamp, so I get 10 pts.
  • Chef Pee Pee: What the hell does that mean? Why don't you just play outside, Junior?
  • Junior: B-b-but, its Thomas' turn to make it into the lamp.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Look. Why don't you just play outside? The street lamp's outside! Their super tall. You could be shooting for days!
  • Junior: Street lamps? Oh, Thomas! Come outside; we're gonna play outside! (Outside, in front of a street lamp) Woah, now that's a big street lamp. But I forgot my blindfold, and where's Thomas?
  • Jackie Chu: Hey, dumb sh*t.
  • Junior: Hey, Jackie Chu! Is that your dog?
  • Jackie Chu: Oh no. This is my dinner.
  • Junior: Dinner?
  • Jackie Chu: Oh yeah. Every day, I go to pet store, and pick up dog for dinner. It very expensive.
  • Junior: Oh. Well, why are you gonna eat him?
  • Jackie Chu: 'Cause he good. It's Chinese tradition.
  • Junior: Oh. (Dog barks) Can I pet him?
  • Jackie Chu: No. Affection spoils the meat. It makes it less tender.
  • Junior: Oh. Well, okay. Well, nice seeing you, Jackie Chu.
  • Jackie Chu: See you later, dumb sh*t.
  • Junior: That dog looked really cool! I want a dog! DAD! (Scene changes to Bowser's room)
  • Bowser: C'mon, Magical 8 Ball! You know all the answers! Now tell me: Well I ever meet Charleyyy? (Ball reads, "Ask again later") TRY AGAIN LATER? No, I need to know it right now, dammit!
  • Junior: Dad! Dad! Dad!
  • Bowser: What do you want, Junior?
  • Junior: Well, I was outside, playing with my ball, and I saw Jackie Chu, and he had a cute dog, that he was about to eat, and made me realize, I really want a dog!
  • Bowser: Wait, why do you want a dog now? Its gonna be very expensive. I don't think we can have one right now.
  • Junior: Because dogs are so cool, and I think every kid should have a dog, cause the dog would play with me, and I would have someone to play with, and he would bark, and it would just be really cool!
  • Bowser: That's kinda true, nobody really plays with you like that.
  • Junior: Yeah, so I really need a dog.
  • Bowser: Look, I spent all my money on this stupid 8 ball. I can't spend money on a dog right now.
  • Junior: Aw. I really want a dog.
  • Bowser: Junior, please. How about we just wait until Christmas. Santa bring you one.
  • Junior: I don't want want to wait until Christmas! I want one right now! You're the worst dad ever! (Runs off)
  • Bowser: Stupid spoiled brat. Wait, maybe I can make a dog. I got this 8 ball right here, that could work, it could be the body, and uh, ooh, I got a slinky! That could be the tail! Yeah. Um, how am I gonna get this to work? Oh! I could summon Craig! Yeah, he knows how to make in-animate objects come to life. Yeah! I'll do that. Uh, how am I going to summon him? CRAIG! Where are you, Craig! Craig!
  • Craig: (appears on the opposite side) How's it going there?
  • Bowser: Oh. Hey, Craig. Uh, I need you to do a favor for me, okay?
  • Craig: Uh, okay.
  • Bowser: I need you to make this 8 ball and this little slinky into a dog, okay?
  • Craig: Into a dog.
  • Bowser: Yeah.
  • Craig: You know what a dog looks like, right?
  • Bowser: Yeah. I know what dogs look like.
  • Craig: Yeah, and fur, uh, okay. Well, uh, you DO know that whatever I make will be evil, yes?
  • Bowser: Oh. I have noticed. I'm not gonna watch the dog, anyway.
  • Craig: PERFECT! Okay, so stand back.
  • Bowser: Okay.
  • Craig: (speaks gibberish and the ball and slinky turn into a Chain Chomp) Hmm, that is not what I had in mind at all.
  • Bowser: He looks perfect! Aw, you're so beautiful. (pets the dog)
  • Craig: Perfect?
  • Bowser: Yeah. He looks like a REAL dog! Like a German shepherd. Wait! Where are you going? I need to show you to Junior!
  • Craig: You're welcome.
  • (Scene changes back to the living room)
  • Junior: Waaah! Thomas! I'm really sad! I want a dog and Dad said to wait until Christmas! Waaaah! I don't want to wait that long! (Chain chomp barks) What? Hey! What are you? (Chain Chomp eats Thomas) Hey, give me back Thomas! What are doing to Thomas?
  • Bowser: So do you like your new dog, Junior?
  • Junior: What? That's not a dog, Dad!
  • Bowser: What's wrong with you? He's so cute! Yes, he IS a dog! What's wrong with you?
  • Junior: No! Dogs are furry and have tails!
  • Bowser: Look, he has a tail. Look at the chain on the back! He's so cute!
  • Junior: What? No, that's ugly! Not a dog!
  • Bowser: Look, I just had him summoned, and everything, okay? So you are gonna play with him, and learn the responsibilities of having a dog, okay?
  • Junior: Okay, dad.
  • Bowser: Yeah. Doing all that whining over a stupid dog.
  • Junior: Uh, can I have Thomas back? Uh, I'm-a reach for him (Dog almost bites him) Ahh! Uh, oh I know! I'll trade you something for Thomas! Uhh, ooh! Look at this nice T.V remote. You don't want the T.V remote? (Dog shakes his head) Okay, uh, stay right there.
  • (Scene changes to Kitchen where Chef Pee Pee is crying over the dominos)
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh man! I can't believe Junior knocked down my dominos! No I gotta clean it up! I can't stand that brat!
  • Junior: Hey, Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: What do you want, Junior?
  • Junior: Do we have any kind of meat or, uh, dog food in the Kitchen?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Uh, we have roast beef in the refrigerator. But don't touch it! It's supposed to be for dinner.
  • Junior: Okay, I won't touch it.
  • (Cuts back to the living room where the dog is chewing up pillows)
  • Junior: Okay, dog. I got you some roast beef. HEY! Why are you chewing up the pillows? Stop! Uhh, okay. EWW! You pooped on the couch, that's disgusting! Hey, you spit Thomas out. Eww, he's covered in slobber. I am going to go wash him off.
  • Chef Pee Pee: (Puts dishes in the sink) Now I gotta wash these.
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee, can I use the sink so I can wash Thomas?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Why do you have to wash Thomas for?
  • Junior: Well my dog just chewed and slobbered all over him and I want to clean him off.
  • Chef Pee Pee: What are you talking about? When did you get a dog?
  • Junior: Uh, 2 minutes ago.
  • Chef Pee Pee: I gotta see this.
  • Junior: Yeah. (Goes to the couch) Alright, Chef Pee Pee, he's in here.
  • Chef Pee Pee: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN HERE? What?! What's going on?! What happened, Junior?!
  • Junior: Calm down, Chef Pee Pee. He just chewed on a few things.
  • Chef Pee Pee: A FEW THINGS?! The couch is destroyed, the lamp is tilted over, and the painting's about to come down! This is more than a few things, Junior! What the hell's happened?
  • Junior: I don't know! He's just a rabbid dog and chew on everything and poops everywhere, too.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh my god! There's poop everywhere! God! That's disgusting!
  • Junior: Where is he?
  • Chef Pee Pee: I dunno! You tell me! (Barking is heard) Get it! (Chain Chomp is looking through the garbage)
  • Junior: This is my dog, Chef Pee Pee.
  • Chef Pee Pee: What the hell is that?
  • Junior: That's my dog.
  • Chef Pee Pee: That doesn't look like a dog, Junior! That's not what a dog looks like! That is not it!
  • Junior: Well, Dad said he made it.
  • Chef Pee Pee: You can't make a dog, Junior. Are you retarded? God.
  • Junior: Well, Dad said he made it.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, we have to capture it somehow! This is weird.
  • Junior: Let's try to capture him in the bathroom. Let's leave a trail of food or something, and we capture him in the bathroom.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Okay, do you know what he eats?
  • Junior: Garbage, couches and stuff.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Okay, just get a bunch of stuff. And then we'll lure him.

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