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Transcript
  • [the video starts with Bowser watching Charleyyy and Friends]
  • Bowser: (laughs) Oh, Charleyyy! You deserve an oscar! Oh man, this is your best work yet! HOHOHOHOHOHO!
  • Announcer: Charleyyy and Friends was filmed in front of a live audience.
  • [Charleyyy is in the bath tub, playing with his rubber ducky]
  • Charleyyy: Oh hi, guys. I'm Charleyyy. (audience cheers) I'm taking a bath. Because I stink!
  • Bowser: (laughs) Pee-yew, Charleyyy! I can smell you from here! Not really. (laughs still) It's funny!
  • Charleyyy: You wanna help me get clean? (Kids cheers. Singing) ♩Soap soap soap. All about the soap. Soap soap soap on me.♩ (the shark approaches) ♩Soap soap soap. Soap soap soap. Rubbin' in on me.♩ (suddenly sees a shark) Wait, did I just see something? Hmm.... Must be imagining things.
  • Bowser: Look! Charleyyy! No it's a... it's a... it's a shark! NO! NO! RUN, CHARLEYYY!! THERE'S A SHARK!! NO!! DON'T DIE CHARLEYYY! DON'T DO IT! NO! (sobs)
  • Charleyy: (continues to sing) ♩Soap soap soap. Soap soap soap. Soap soap cookie clean. Soap soap soap. Soap soap soap...♩ (the shark is back)
  • Bowser: How do you not see it, Charleyyy?! Run! Get out of there, boy! Run! Save yourself! No, don't die! You're the only show I want!
  • Charleyyy: ♩Soap soap soap. Soap soap soap. Soap soap all on me..♩ (shark strikes him) AAAAAAAAH!!
  • Bowser: NOOO!!!! CHARLEYYY! (Bowser cries) DON'T DIE ON ME! NO, DON'T DIE! YEAH, COME ON!
  • [Charleyyy is still attacked by the shark, but it turns out it's not a real shark]
  • Charleyyy: Just kidding! This isn't a real shark. (plays around with the fake shark. Audience laughs) Ah wobble wobble wobble. I'm soft stuff. I'm Charleyyy's friend. (audience cheers)
  • Bowser: (laughs) He got me! I knew you couldn't die! Oh man, you got me, Charleyyy! You're awesome! (claps) Oscar acting right there! Oscar acting! Oh, man!
  • [A commercial appears about the convention]
  • Commercial: Hey kids! Are you a super mega awesome cool Charleyyy and Friends fan?
  • Bowser: Uh... do you know who you're talking to? You're talking to the number one Charleyyy and Friends fan!
  • Commercial: Then you should come to the first ever Charleyyy and Friends convention, where you'll have a chance to meet Charleyyy! But you better hurry! Because tickets are selling out fast!
  • [Bowser gasps, then rushes off out of the room. Then cuts to Chef Pee Pee cooking Flounder]
  • Chef Pee Pee: Under the sea! Under the sea! I'm gonna boil you, and season you, you piece of tasty!
  • Bowser: (off-screen) Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Bowser, what are you doing? I'm trying to cook my seafood! Why do you bother me?
  • Bowser: Stop whining, Chef Pee Pee! I don't pay you to whine! Something came up and I need you to watch Junior for a few hours.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Watch Junior, for a couple of hours? No no. I'm sorry, I just can't do it, Bowser. I thought we had a deal. I wouldn't have to watch your son, 'cuz we don't get along, we're not friends, and every single time I get around him, we have complications! Do you not recall that? This conversation we have?
  • Bowser: Hmm... just forget everything that we said in the past. I really need you to watch Junior for me. There's a Charleyyy and Friends convention going on right now, and I really need to go, I don't know why i'm still here right now!!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Wait... Charleyyy and Friends convention? Why don't you just take Junior with you? I'm pretty sure that he would like it.
  • Bowser: That's the thing! I don't like him and he might ruin this for me! And I can't let my son, my horrible son, ruin this wonderful moment I might have with Charleyyy!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Listen to yourself, Bowser! You don't even like your own son. So why make me suffer?!
  • Bowser: Because that's what I pay you for! I pay you to suffer!
  • Chef Pee Pee: But you don't really at all!
  • Bowser: Anyway, I just need you to watch Junior for a couple of hours. I'ma be back. Just play with a couple of toys, maybe cook him something if he gets hungry, and i'll be back in probably in an hour or two. And i'ma ask if he had fun, and if he did not have fun, i'ma put you under the sea! Under the sea! Boiling water seasoned so perfectly!
  • Chef Pee Pee: But that's not the lyrics.
  • Bowser: I DON'T CARE! Just make sure you watch him! Hmph! (about to walk out) Under the sea! Under the sea! Boiling water and seasoned so perfectly! I'm coming for you, Charleyyy! (hums) Under the sea! Under the sea! (walks out the door and closes it)
  • Chef Pee Pee: Hmph! Stupid Bowser! Doesn't even know the lyrics! Maybe Junior won't be that bad today. He hasn't started bothering me yet, so it might be a good day. And I might be able to finish my seafood. (sighs. He picks up Flounder) Under the sea! Under the sea! Boiling water and--
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: (puts down Flounder) What?
  • Junior: Uh... what do you think your doing?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, considering i'm a chef, probably cooking. Now what do you want?!
  • Junior: Uh... I want to play with toys!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, go and run along and play with your toys. They're in the living room, right?
  • Junior: Yes, but uh... I want to play toys with you! YOU GOTTA PLAY TOYS WITH ME, BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS TO PLAY TOYS WITH ME, AND THAT'S WHAT MY DAD SAID YOU HAD TO DO!!
  • Chef Pee Pee: (groans angrily) What toys do you want to play with then?
  • [cuts to the train section]
  • Junior: Trains! I wanna play trains!
  • Chef Pee Pee: So this is trains? (Chef Pee Pee touches a bell)
  • Junior: Yeah-- No don't touch that! Don't touch that, Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, I'm sorry.
  • Junior: You're suppose to play with the trains.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Okay. Ooh, a blue one. I'll play with this one.
  • Junior: NO! NO! I'm Thomas. You can't... I'm Thomas! I'M Thomas!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, there's another Thomas right there. Just play with that one and I'll play with this one.
  • Junior: NO NO NO NO! That's Tommy the Tank Engine! He's a stunt double! I'm always Thomas! You can be the ugly red one!
  • Chef Pee Pee: I don't wanna be the red one. I got this one first! You should learn how to share!
  • Junior: NO, I DON'T WANNA SHARE! I DON'T WANNA SHARE! I DON'T WANT TO! I'M THOMAS! He's number one! I'm Thomas!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Okay, then. You can be Thomas then
  • Junior: Play with the ugly red one.
  • Chef Pee Pee: I don't wanna be the red one. I'll just.... I guess i'll play with the cow. (touches the cow)
  • Junior: NOOOOOOOO!!!!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Why can't I play with the cow?!
  • Junior: You know what? I don't wanna play trains anymore!
  • Chef Pee Pee: (sighs) What do you want to play now then?
  • [cuts to the dinosaurs section]
  • Junior: Dinosaurs!
  • Chef Pee Pee: This one looks mean. (touches one)
  • Junior: No, Chef Pee Pee, don't touch any of my dinosaurs!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, I'm sorry. I thought we were playing dinosaurs!
  • Junior: We are! Just.... just let me choose the dinosaurs that I wanna play with first, and then you can have the leftovers.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Fine!
  • Junior: Okay, um... I definitely want the T-Rex, (takes the T-Rex) 'cuz the T-Rex is mine! And I want the bear! (takes the bear) And I want this one! (takes another dinosaur) And I want like... all of these! (takes all of them) And I want... and I want this one! Okay, Chef Pee Pee, I took all the dinosaurs that I want to play with, so you can play with the leftovers.
  • [Chef Pee Pee doesn't have any leftovers]
  • Chef Pee Pee: There aren't any leftovers. You took them all!
  • Junior: I took them all?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Yeah.
  • Junior: Oh sorry, Chef Pee Pee. I got a dinosaur you can play with!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh, he's actually gonna let me play with one. Okay.
  • [Junior gives Chef Pee Pee a little dinosaur]
  • Junior: You can play with that one!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh, wow. Oh, okay. So I get a little pipsqueak dinosaur, but you have the whole super mafia over there, that just take down a building at any moment!! Are you serious?! This isn't fair!
  • Junior: Uh... yes it is fair, Chef Pee Pee. Because uh... you're new to playing dinosaurs, so you gotta start on level 1. Like i'm like a level 1,000 on all my dinosaurs. Like my T-Rex, it took me like forever to level up, and like uh... that dinosaur right there.... uh..... I'm just better at it, and you have to start from level 1.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Wow! So there's levels to it, huh?
  • Junior: Yeah. This is how you level up. Okay, you take your dinosaur, and you go up to him, and then... (Junior's dinosaur bites and eats the tiny dinosaur) See? I just ate your dinosaur. You lost. You don't know how to play dinosaurs!
  • Chef Pee Pee: I wasn't even ready!
  • Junior: You suck! You suck! You don't know how to play dinosaurs! I know how to play dinosaurs! I'm the master of dinosaurs, and no one can't beat me at dinosaurs!
  • Chef Pee Pee: You're just a cheater. That's what you are.
  • Junior: No! You just don't know how to play! I'm hungry! I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry!
  • Chef Pee Pee: (sighs) Finally, something that I know that i'm good at! So what do you want to eat?
  • Junior: I want a Happy Meal.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, I can't cook a Happy Meal. It has to be something in the kitchen. What do you want?
  • Junior: I want you to take me to McDonald's to get a Happy Meal!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, how about we just cook something in the kitchen. Just find something that you might like to eat.
  • Junior: NO! NO NO NO NO! I WANT A HAPPY MEAL FROM MCDONALD'S!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Look, you need to start eating a little healthier. How about like a... celery stick with some peanut butter?
  • Junior: NO! TAKE ME TO MCDONALD'S TO GET A HAPPY MEAL!! I WANT A HAPPY MEAL!! YOU BETTER TAKE ME TO MCDONALD'S TO GET A HAPPY MEAL!!!!
  • [Chef Pee Pee screams at Junior in agreement]
  • Chef Pee Pee: I'LL TAKE YOU! I'LL JUST TAKE YOU AND GET YOUR DAMN HAPPY MEAL! OKAY? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? Are you happy?
  • Junior: (firmly) I want a Happy Meal!
  • Chef Pee Pee: ALRIGHT, LETS GO THEN!
  • [cuts to Junior and Chef Pee Pee in the car]
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee, are we there yet?
  • Chef Pee Pee: We're almost there. We're about to pull up in the drive-thru now.
  • Junior: I WANT A HAPPY MEAL!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Okay, shut up! We're gonna get your happy meal. Just hold on.
  • Junior: Okay!
  • McDonald's Employee: Would you like a strawberry cream pie for only a dollar?
  • Chef Pee Pee: No, I am okay. (to Junior) What do you want?
  • Junior: Uh... I WANT A CHICKEN NUGGET HAPPY MEAL WITH A TOY!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Alright shut up! Can I get a chicken nugget Happy Meal with a toy for this little bastard, please?
  • McDonald's Employee: Alright, that will be $3.98. Next window.
  • [cuts to Junior with a Happy Meal]
  • Junior: I got a Happy Meal! Thank you, Chef Pee Pee, you got me a Happy Meal.
  • Chef Pee Pee: So are you happy now?
  • Junior: Uh.. duh. It's a Happy Meal, I'm happy!
  • Chef Pee Pee: So, you're gonna eat all your food now, and there's not gonna be any problems at all, right?
  • Junior: Uh... i'm not gonna eat the Happy Meal. Why would I do that?
  • Chef Pee Pee: (laughs) Why would you? Maybe because I just drove all the way down the road to get you a Happy Meal You're going to eat your Happy Meal! I'm pretty sure you're going to eat your Happy Meal!
  • Junior: Uh... no i'm not. All I wanted was the toy.
  • Chef Pee Pee: (facepalms) All you wanted was the toy?!
  • Junior: Yes.
  • Chef Pee Pee: You made me drive all the way down to McDonald's, yell at the lady in the drive-thru, JUST SO YOU CAN GET A TOY?!
  • Junior: Uh... duh! I needed a new toy. (Chef Pee Pee facepalms again) I haven't had a new toy in like... a few days. So I needed a new toy. (Junior pours stuff out of the bag for the toy)
  • Chef Pee Pee: I drove all the way to a McDonald's to get this frickin' bastard a toy!
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: A toy!
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: WHAT?!
  • Junior: There's no toy!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, you don't deserve a toy. After driving all the way to a McDonald's, you're suppose to eat the food and not the toy!
  • Junior: I don't want the food, I want the toy!
  • Chef Pee Pee: You know what? Maybe you just didn't look right. Maybe i'll look. (starts looking in the bag)
  • Junior: M-maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Look-- Chef Pee Pee. Please is there a toy? Is there a toy? Is there a toy? Is there a toy? Is there? Is there?!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Um....
  • Junior: Is there?! Is there a toy? There better be a toy!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Theres no toy.
  • Junior: NOOO!! (starts crying over for a toy) WE NEED TO GO BACK TO MCDONALD'S!
  • Chef Pee Pee: No i'm not! Hold on, hold on. I remember. Okay. I remember. I took the toy out. I remember. It's in the car. It's in the car. Just hold on, stay here, i'ma go and get the toy for you.
  • Junior: Oh, okay.
  • Chef Pee Pee: (groans loudly) Where's the toy?! Where's the toy?! I'm not riding all the way back to McDonald's just to get a toy! What's something that looks like a toy? (picks the scissors) Ooh, this kinda looks like a toy. So colorful and what not. This could work! Okay.
  • Junior: (crying) Where's my Happy Meal toy? I'm not happy, I'm sad. I'm crying! (keeps sobbing)
  • Chef Pee Pee: Hey, Junior. Look what I found.
  • Junior: MY TOY!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Yeah!
  • Junior: What is it? What is it? (opens it)
  • Chef Pee Pee: It looks like a pair of scissors! Woo!
  • Junior: What do I do with it?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, I know that when you play scissors, you kinda run with the scissors as fast as you can, while throwing them up in the air and catching them in your mouth. And then you try to run into a wall.
  • Junior: With the scissors?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Yeah!
  • Junior: But they're kinda sharp.
  • Chef Pee Pee: That's the fun part about it. You try not to get cut.
  • Junior: Oh, cool!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Yeah!
  • Junior: So, I run as fast as I can with the sharp point?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Yeah. And try to throw it up as many times as you can. Make it flip!
  • Junior: (flips the scissors and stabs his eye) OW!! OW!!! OW, MY EYE!! MY EYE, CHEF PEE PEE!!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh, maybe you'll catch it next time. (laughs)
  • [Bowser comes home and sees Chef Pee Pee laughing at his son crying]
  • Bowser: Why is my son crying, Chef Pee Pee?! It doesn't sound like happiness to me!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Uh... Bowser, you're home already?
  • Bowser: Yes! I came home early. The Charleyyy and Friends convention was cancelled, due to Charleyyy's sickness. And I was suppose to come home to a happy son, but when I come here, all I hear is him crying! So tell me, what's wrong with him?
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, we kinda went to McDonald's. He wanted a Happy Meal with a toy, we got the Happy Meal. And the toy had scissors in it. Don't know why they gave him scissors. But he throw them up trying to catch them in his mouth I guess, and they hit his eye. But that's pretty much all I know about it.
  • Bowser: What?! They gave him scissors?!
  • Chef Pee Pee: I mean yeah. Isn't that what you get in Happy Meals?
  • Bowser: No, it's not what you get! Get out of my way, Chef Pee Pee! (pushes Chef Pee Pee and walk towards Junior)
  • Junior: (crying) Dad!
  • Bowser: Are you okay, son?
  • Junior: No, my eye hurts. I tried to catch the scissors in my mouth, and they hit me in the eye! (continues crying)
  • Bowser: Hmph! You just let this happen didn't you?!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Well, it's kinda really hard to tell your son no, Bowser.
  • Bowser: Hahaha! I bet! Hmph! So you know what you're gonna have to do to make up for this?!
  • Chef Pee Pee: What, Bowser? What do I have to do?
  • [cuts to Bowser and Chef Pee Pee playing trains]
  • Bowser: TRAINS! WOO!! I'm Thomas. Ooh, you can be the ugly red one, okay?
  • Chef Pee Pee: (sighs) Please kill me.

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