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- (Video starts with Bowser Junior in his room)
- Bowser Junior: *sighs*, where are my friends at?! They're supposed to be here any minute! *sighs again* I guess I'll just watch Doofy The Dragon until they get here. *grunts whilst turning on the TV with his remote*
- Doofy: Oh, hey kids, I'm Doofy The Dragon, and today I'm gonna sing a song on how to tie your shoes sing along with me if you know the words.
- When You Want To Learn How To Tie Your Shoes!
- Doofy Can Teach You What To Do!
- First you gotta grab one shoe lace!
- Then you gotta grab the other one!
- Then you give up 'cause it's too fucking hard!
- (Too Fucking Hard)
- Then you grab a noose and kill yourself!
- (Kill Yourself)
- (Doofy hangs himself)