• [The video opens with Toad walking outside.]
  • Toad: Lalalalala... goin' on my daily walk! Gotta stay fit for the ladies!
  • [Toad spots a Yu-Gi-Oh card on the ground and gasps.]
  • Toad: A Yu-Gi-Oh card! Lemme see what it looks like!
  • [Toad flips the card]
  • Toad: Oh, oh, uh... [gasp] I don't have this one yet! This is awesome! This is going in my box at home! Hey little buddy, you're coming with me!
  • Nerd [offscreen]: Hey!
  • Toad: Huh?
  • [Toad looks up and sees a nerd with his pants pulled extremely high up. He has a severe lisp due to the fact that he is wearing a retainer]
  • Nerd: Hey! Don't touch my card, kid! What, you wanna duel me in Yu-Gi-Oh? Do you really wanna duel me right now, dude? Like, do you not see this deck? I have the best cards in this deck, dude! I have the best cards around town, dude? Do you really wanna duel me right now? Okay, okay, okay. We can duel. Come at me, bro! Come at me! We can duel right now if that's what you wanna do, m'kay? I guarantee you I will win. I'm, like, the god at Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm level, like, 40-something, like 42 or something like that. I can't even remember, that's now awesome I am!
  • Toad: I'm sorry, I didn't really mean, uh, I didn't really mean to take your card right here! Uh, I don't have any friends. I just wanted the card to be my friend, that's all.
  • Nerd: Dude! You don't have any friends?! [scoffs] You're such a nerd, dude. Okay, if you had a gorgeous body like me, a body of a Pegasus...[the nerd attempts to imitate a dramatic fanfare, but his voice cracks] ...then you would have this many friends. I have so many friends, man! I have Mattlock27, um, Smackdatbooty, like, 72... He's awesome at Call of Duty. I swear, he's the most awesome person. I mean, he would be, like, my baby daddy if I was gay. But anyway, once you get to this sexy level of, like, model status... [the nerd tries to imitate a dramatic fanfare again, and his voice cracks again] ... you will have friends, okay? But I will spare you this time. I will spare you from a duel. For just this time, once, m'kay? Just this time.
  • Toad: Uh, okay. Um, thanks for sparing me, I guess. Um, you can have your card back.
  • [The nerd yanks the card out of Toad's hand]
  • Nerd: Yeah, that's what I thought! I'm on my way. I have a duel match to attend to, NERD. [He walks away in an exaggeratedly nerdy manner, with his butt sticking out.] Got a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament todayyyyy, oh! [A bully walks up to the nerd] Sup, dude? [The bully immediately shoves the nerd into a trash can, tipping it over. The nerd screams] Man, dude! Jeez! Ugh, my eyes. I can't see! I'm blind! Where's my glasses? [The nerd reaches for his glasses, but the bully slaps his hand away and starts beating him up. Toad sees him across the street.]
  • Toad: Is that the nerd getting beat up? I gotta help him!
  • Nerd: This is only supposed to happen at school! [The bully lifts up the nerd, who screams] Hey, you're messing up my shirt!
  • Bully: 'Ay. Gimme yo' lunch money, man.
  • Nerd: I don't have any lunch money! I'm not at school!
  • Bully: Gimme yo' Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
  • Nerd: No, I got a tournament! [The bully rips the cards out of the nerd's hand] No! [The nerd falls over and starts whining]
  • Bully: Got me some Yu-Gi-Oh cards... Metamorph'is? Hey man, who's Metamorph'is?
  • Nerd: I dunno, he's awesome...
  • Bully: How much this one go for?
  • Nerd: I don't... 20 dollars man, jeez!
  • Bully: Harpies? This card better not gimme no herpes!
  • Nerd: It's not "herpes", it's "Harpies"!
  • Bully: I'm takin' these. Double lunch money tomorrow.
  • Nerd: No, please... nooo!
  • [The bully runs off, right past Toad, who sees the nerd lying on the ground]
  • Toad: Hey man, are you okay?
  • Nerd: The bully, he just beat me up and stole my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, man! I got a tournament to go to! Jeez man, I need my Yu-Gi-Oh card!
  • Toad: Well, I would've helped you out, but earlier you were being mean to me. I just couldn't help you anymore. I'm tired of being the nice guy, jeez.
  • Nerd: You know what? You're not going to ride my Segway whenever I get it, okay? It's just gonna be me. I'm riding it! You're not!
  • [The nerd runs off crying]
  • Toad: Uh, okay then. Lalalalalalala... [Toad sees one of the cards, which the bully dropped earlier] Yu-Gi-Oh card! What is this one... Metamorphosis? That's even better than before! Oh yeah!

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