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Transcript
  • [it started where Bowser Junior, Cody and Joseph are watching TV in the living room]
  • Narrator: Now back to Dr. Finkleshitz.
  • [on the bottom left corner, it says "Dr. Finkleshitz" and shows black and white]
  • Dr. Finkleshitz: (snaps fingers) Hello, and welcome. I am Dr. Fredrick Finkleshitz, and today we will be talking about aliens. Some people say aliens do not exist, but those people are coo-coo! Not like me, I am not coo-coo. (jumps and flails around with his arms) Look, do I look like a coo-coo bird? Coo! I don't do that. I am a rational man. If aliens do not exist, then how do you explain this? (shows a green alien on the table with wires around it) This, is an actual alien that crashed into Roswell, New Mexico. As you can tell by his big black eyes, and silly little antennae, that don't do anything at all. He came here in his little UFO. Now what is a UFO, you ask? Well, I will tell you. (picks up and holds a lamp shade glass bowl) A UFO is an unidentified flying object, that flies around like... (makes UFO sounds) Kinda. This, this is a bowl, this is a (puts bowl down) bad example. I need a better, better example. This! (grabs a balloon of a sombrero with maracas) Yes, yes, yes! This, is a better example of a flying saucer. This is the cockpit, this is the body and these are maracas. There are not maracas on the real spaceship. This, is a child's balloon for parties. And it is also proof that Mexicans are aliens from outer space. (lets go of the balloon) Yes! Ooh! This is more, more, more evidence! (picks up a bag of Pop Rocks) Pop rocks. Pop rocks were invented by the aliens, I will show you. (eats some pop rocks and then mumbles) You can hear the popping! That is alien technology at work, yes. (grabs some scotch tape, double-sided) Double-sided tape! It is sticky, but on both sides! Human minds couldn't have think up this! (drops the double-sided tape) Alien technology! Now you may be asking yourself, you may be asking yourself, "Finkleshitz, how do I communicate with these aliens?" I will show you! (walks to the left)
  • Junior: Whoa!
  • Joseph: Fake.
  • Cody: Yeah, so fake.
  • Junior: What? Guys, that's not fake, that's a real alien!
  • Joseph: Come on, Junior. Are you serious?
  • Cody: Yeah, it's just a dumb sci-fi show.
  • Junior: No, that's a real alien on that table. Dr. Finkleshitz knows what he's talking about!
  • Joseph: No he doesn't, dude!
  • Cody: Dr. Finkleshitz is not even a real doctor.
  • Joseph: He uses a Mexican balloon!
  • Cody: Yeah.
  • Junior: He's a real doctor, you see the glasses and the lab coat? That's a real, that's a real doctor hair.
  • Cody: Junior, it's just TV.
  • Junior: No, that's a real alien...
  • Dr. Finkleshitz: (came back with a hot dog costume) Okay, this is how you must dress while you are communicating this, the alien. Now, wait... where did the alien go? (the alien was suppose to be on the table, but it's missing) I did not dress like a hot dog for no reason. The alien must've been upset since I had the Pop Rocks and he disappeared, that is the only explanation... (the alien just appear behind him, flashing in grey. He fell on the ground and screams when he sees the alien)
  • Junior: Ah, Dr. Finkleshitz, NO!
  • Cody: Junior, calm down, it's just a TV show.
  • Joseph: Yeah, Junior.
  • Junior: It's not just a TV show, that alien is hurting Dr. Finkleshitz, we need to save him!
  • Cody: Junior, it's an old show in the 1950s!
  • Junior: Well, he's not an old show--
  • Joseph: And that alien isn't even real, dude.
  • Junior: That alien is clearly real! Look at that, that's a real alien! I... I need a hot dog outfit.
  • Joseph: What?
  • Cody: What?
  • Junior: I need to talk to an alien, I need a hot dog outfit.
  • Cody: Junior--
  • Joseph: That's not gonna work, Junior.
  • Junior: It worked for Dr. Finkleshitz. He's wearing a hot dog outfit. I need a hot dog outfit!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Um, Junior I need you to take out the trash for me.
  • Junior: Wha-- Excuse me? Take out the trash? Since when?
  • Chef Pee Pee: What do you mean? It's your chore, you only have one chore. I'm washing dishes right now, and I need you to take out the trash.
  • Junior: Take out the... uh, uh, uh, (looks out the door) It's uh, it's dark outside, I-I might get kidnapped.
  • Chef Pee Pee: Man, that'll be so lucky for me. But look, nobody wants to kidnap you, Junior. Just take out the trash, and hurry back! Okay?
  • Junior: Uh, g-guys, you will all go with me, right?
  • Cody: No, it's dark, and scary.
  • Junior: Well and Jo, Jo--
  • Joseph: It's cold outside, dude.
  • Junior: You all guys are wimps! You know you all can suck a butthole! And I bet you'll have butt cheeks with pimples on 'em and stuff. (walks out)
  • Joseph: Really?
  • Cody: That was rude.
  • [cuts to the door. Chef Pee Pee laughs]
  • Chef Pee Pee: Get ready to take out the trash, Junior.
  • Junior: (takes the trash bag) You know what, Chef Pee Pee?
  • Chef Pee Pee: What?
  • Junior: I hope your cat gets feline leukemia.
  • Chef Pee Pee: What--? I don't even have a cat, Junior!
  • Junior: Well, I hope you get a cat! And you fall in love with it, and you love it every night, and then it gets feline leukemia! (leaves)
  • Chef Pee Pee: What the hell's your problem?
  • [cuts to the dumpster]
  • Junior: Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EWW!! (threw the trash bag in the dump) Ugh, I hate taking out the trash! It's so disgusting! EW!
  • Hansel: Hey, man.
  • Junior: AHH!!
  • Hansel: Aw.
  • Junior: Wha-- Who are you?
  • Hansel: H-hey. D-do you have any change, little man? Err... cheeseburger or something?
  • Junior: C-change? Uh... no, I don't carry change. I'm... I'm poor.
  • Hansel: Oh. Me too.
  • Junior: Well.... (notices a tin foil hat on his head) Ooh! That's a nice hat! How-- Why'd you have tin foil on your head?
  • Hansel: Oh! There's... so aliens can read my thoughts.
  • Junior: ALIENS?!! You believe in aliens?
  • Hansel: Oh yeah, man! They took me up in their spaceship and their.... flying saucer.
  • Junior: T-they took you in a flying saucer?!
  • Hansel: Yeah! I tried to read my thoughts, and throw things up my butthole, and--
  • Junior: Whoa! Wait... so aliens exist, right?
  • Hansel: Oh, course they exist, man.
  • Junior: That'll be so cool to go inside a flying saucer with the aliens!
  • Hansel: Nah, it's bad, man. They put things in your butt, and do all kinds of things.
  • Junior: They put stuff in your butt?
  • Hansel: Yeah, and they tried to read my thoughts.
  • Junior: Well, my friends don't believe in aliens. So they're stupid, right?
  • Hansel: Oh yeah. Aliens are real, man! You don't let nobody tell you otherwise, man.
  • Junior: And school's stupid too, right?
  • Hansel: I mean yeah. I drop down.
  • Junior: Yeah, and look at you. You're a winner!
  • Hansel: Yeah, I came out great, man.
  • Junior: Well, it's nice meeting you, homeless man! I'm gonna go talk to my friends about aliens!
  • Hansel: Yeah, you do it.
  • [cuts to the balcony]
  • Junior: That hobo is right. Aliens are real! He was abducted by aliens... (sees a light far in the distance) Is that a UFO?! A UFO!! G-GUYS!! (runs back to the room) Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys! (pants) T-there's a UFO outside right now! Come on, come look! Come look!
  • Cody: Wait, wait, wait... J-Junior.
  • Junior: What?
  • Cody: Are you sure you didn't see a plane?
  • Joseph: Yeah.
  • Junior: It's not a plane.
  • Cody: What did it look like?
  • Junior: It's-it's a light in the sky, and it's going really slow, and it's flashy, it's going blink--
  • Cody: That's a plane, Junior.
  • Junior: IT'S NOT A PLANE, IT'S A UFO!! COME LOOK! COME LOOK!
  • Cody: Fine!
  • Joseph: Okay.
  • [they went out on the balcony]
  • Junior: Guys, it was right there! Right there! Right there!
  • Joseph: Where, dude? I don't even see anything.
  • Cody: Yeah, I don't see anything, Junior.
  • Junior: W-where did it go?
  • Cody(sighs) Junior, are you sure it's not, 'cuz it's a plane?
  • Junior: There was not a plane, it was a UFO flying saucer.
  • Joseph: Dude, it could be a plane. Are you serious?
  • Cody: Yeah.
  • Junior: No, it was a UFO. I swear, guys, it was a UFO that was in... (sees a star in the distance) What about that?!
  • Cody: That's a star, Junior.
  • Joseph: Yeah.
  • Cody: You've seen stars before.
  • Junior: A star?
  • Cody: No!
  • Joseph: Dude, this is getting bored, I'm going inside.
  • Junior: G-guys! I promise it was a UFO. I saw it. I did. (sees a strange green light in the distance, and it was a UFO) (screams) THAT WAS A UFO?!! REALLY? GUYS!!!
  • [cuts back to the room with Joseph and Cody]
  • Junior: GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, THERE'S ANOTHER UFO!!! I PROMISE, IT'S OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!! COME ON, GUYS!!!
  • Cody: Junior, s'probably just another plane.
  • Junior: No, no, no, no, no. The first one was possibly a plane, then it was a UFO. It's a flying saucer! It had a light underneath it, blew over my head, I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES!!!
  • Cody: Junior, what are the odds that you would see a UFO on the same night that we're watching a show about aliens?
  • Joseph: Yeah, think about it, dude. Cody does have a point.
  • Cody: Yeah, your mind is just playing tricks on you.
  • Junior: No, I saw it with my own eyes, it flew over my head, I saw it had a light! There's aliens! Aliens exist! It's real!
  • Joseph: Are you sure it wasn't a street light or anything?
  • Cody: Yeah.
  • Junior: It was not a street light, it was a UFO--!!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Junior, stop all that yelling! You making the neighbors mad, and you need to take your ADHD medicine, and go to bed!
  • Junior: NEVER! I'll never take my ADHD medicine ever again! I never take it. Every time I take it, I hide it under my tongue, and I spit it in the trash can. I've never taken it!
  • Cody: That explains alot actually.
  • Junior: Chef Pee Pee, I saw a UFO outside, and they won't believe me. They say that's an airplane, but it was a flying saucer, flew over my head, a light was coming out! It was real, Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Junior, it probably was an airplane. There's no such thing as a flying saucer.
  • Junior: It was not an airplane, the hobo was telling the truth. Aliens are real, they probe his butt!
  • Cody: What?
  • Chef Pee Pee: What the hell are you talking about, Junior?
  • Junior: But Chef Pee Pee, aliens are real! I saw a UFO! You believe me, right?
  • Chef Pee Pee: You need to stop watching this TV show you're watching, Junior.
  • Junior: No. I'm never stopping watching... Finkleshitz. I wanna watch more Finkleshitz.
  • Cody: It ended about 10 minutes ago.
  • Junior: Wh--
  • Cody: Yeah. After the alien attacked him, he didn't come back.
  • Chef Pee Pee: So it's time for you to go to bed, Junior. So go and get in your bed, okay?
  • Junior: Okay, Chef Pee Pee. Fine! I'll go to bed. Y'all are gonna stay the night, right, guys? I'm afraid of aliens.
  • Joseph: I don't have any parents.
  • Cody: Yeah, I'm DTF.
  • Junior: Okay. So, y'all gonna stay tonight?
  • Joseph and Cody: Yeah.
  • Junior: Okay, guys. Oh man, I'm really scared that aliens are gonna break in and probe my butt.
  • Joseph: Dude...
  • Junior: But that won't make me happy at all, right?

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