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Bowser Jr. Alt 2
"I WANT A LONGER PAGE!"

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Transcript
  • [video starts with Bowser watching TV]
  • Bowser: Oh, man. Charleyyy and Friends is on! Ooh, man. I'm ready to laugh!
  • Announcer: Charleyyy and Friends was filmed in front of a live audience.
  • [the show takes place in the bathroom where Charleyyy is furious, puts on his snorkels, smears mayo around his chest, and grabs his sword]
  • Charleyyy: And now I'm ready.... to clean the toilet! It's so clogged! (the audience laughs) It's disgusting! Ew!
  • Bowser: (laughs) Oh, Charleyyy, you don't need mayonnaise to clean the toilet! (phone rings) Wait... who's calling me during Charleyyy and Friends?! (groans and answers) Hello?
  • Sheila: (on the other end of the phone) Hello.
  • Bowser: Who is this?!
  • Sheila: (on the other end of the phone) Oh, it's Sheila, baby.
  • Bowser: SHEILA?! What are you doing calling me?! I've got a restraining order on you, you're suppose to stay 10 feet away from me!
  • [Junior went to Bowser's room with a phone]
  • Junior: Dad, there's some girl on the phone. Do you have a girlfriend?
  • Bowser: What?! I'm not paying you child support! (turns to Junior) O-oh, no no no. It's, it's not a girlfriend of mine, I would never date this (beep) again! Oh, um... it's just the cable guy, he's trying to uh... get rid of Cartoon Network or something.
  • Junior: What? Not Cartoon Network! Hey, mister, please don't get rid of Cartoon Network. I love that show.
  • Bowser: (on the phone) See? Even your son even hates you! (turns to Junior) Wha-- JUNIOR, GET OFF THE PHONE!!
  • Junior: Okay, i'll get off the stupid phone! (drops the phone) But you better add Nick Jr., and Spike TV.
  • Bowser: YOU DON'T NEED NICK JR.!! GOD! But can I order the Spike TV, please?
  • Sheila: (on the other end of the phone) What the hell is a Spike TV?
  • Bowser: Oh, yeah, damn it. Um, I don't owe you child support, Sheila! I've been taking care of the little brat for the longest! You owe ME child support!!
  • Sheila: (on the other end of the phone) We got more kids!
  • Bowser: YOU HAVE MORE KIDS?!! No! No no. There's no way. W-we did not have kids! 'Cause I have a vasectomy after the first little brat! Okay? So we didn't have kids!
  • Sheila: (on the other end of the phone) You owe me a $1,000.
  • Bowser: Wait... WHAT?!! YOU'RE A WHORE, SHEILA!! A WHORE!!!!
  • [Junior came back to the room with the phone]
  • Junior: Uh, dad, I've been listening to the call, and you've been really mean to the cable guy.
  • Bowser: IT'S BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO SELL ME A BUNDLE DEAL THAT I DON'T WANT!!! I don't want those stupid brats! And you better not come over here!
  • Junior: Aw. So no Nick Jr.?
  • Bowser: (groans and stutters) SHUT UP! EVERYBODY, SHUT UP! GO TO YOUR ROOM, JUNIOR!!!
  • Junior: Okay, dad. Geez. (leaves the room)
  • Bowser: (groans angrily) I HATE MY EX-WIFE!!! And she's saying that we have more than one kid! I know that we didn't have more than one kid, I have the vasectomy! She better not come over here! I swear to God! (there's a knock at the door) DAMMIT!! AHH!! (leaves the room) THAT BETTER NOT BE HER AT THE DOOR!!
  • [cuts to the front door]
  • Sheila: (knocking) Ya gotta open this damn door.
  • Bowser: Oh my gosh! She's banging on my door! (opens the door revealing Sheila) Ugh. Sheila.
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. Robert.
  • Bowser: D-don't call me Robert! I go by Bowser!
  • Sheila: Oh. You go by Boozer now? Okay, we'll call you Boozer.
  • Bowser: God. What do you want? Why are you here?
  • Sheila: I came to drop off the kids.
  • Bowser: They're not my kids! I told you that on the phone.
  • Sheila: Okay. Well explain why Timmy looks just like you. Timmy, get yo ass over here. (Timmy came over) Mm-hmm. Look at that. One tooth, havin' ass.
  • Bowser: He doesn't-- Well, he kinda does look like me. But I have 4 teeth!
  • Sheila: And... he said his first word. Go ahead, Timmy. Tell me what ya said.
  • Timmy: Butt.
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm.
  • Timmy: Butt!
  • [Bowser sputters]
  • Sheila: Explain that.
  • Bowser: I don't know how to explain that. I didn't teach him that word.
  • Sheila: Okay. And... you got yourself a daughter. Mm-hmm.
  • Bowser: Oh my God. Well where is she?
  • Sheila: Wendy, get your ass over here! WENDY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!
  • [Wendy came over]
  • Wendy: What you want, mom?
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. See? Big lip, havin' ass.
  • Bowser: Whoa. Those lips are huge. Where'd she get those from?
  • Sheila: Mmm... I'll give you a guess. Her father.
  • [Bowser sputters]
  • Wendy: Yeah. You tell him, mom.
  • Timmy: Butt.
  • Sheila: Shut your ass up!
  • Bowser: They kinda look like me. But... ah man, my head is hurting. This is too much for me right now. Just come inside real quick. Bring the kids inside.
  • Sheila: Wendy, go get your other brothers.
  • Wendy: Okay.
  • Bowser: Wait... WHAT?! THERE'S MORE?!
  • Sheila: Oh yeah. You got 6 of 'em!
  • Bowser(sputters) SIX! MORE OF THEM?!
  • Sheila: Yeah. You need to learn to keep it in your pants! Will you let us inside?
  • Bowser(groans) J-just come in.
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. That's what I thought. (she and the 6 kids went inside)
  • [cuts to the kitchen where Chef Pee Pee is serving lunch]
  • Chef Pee Pee: Oh yes. Cookies and a sandwich. Oh, are they the best. (Bowser)
  • Bowser: (off-screen) Chef Pee Pee! Chef Pee Pee!
  • Chef Pee Pee: What, Bowser? You sound scared.
  • Bowser: Because I am scared, Chef Pee Pee! She's coming. SHE'S COMING!! You need to hide. You need to hide! (opens the oven) Get in there!
  • Chef Pee Pee: Wait.. why?
  • Bowser: Just get in there! (pushes Chef Pee Pee in the oven)
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. Look how big this house is. And he can't give me no check.
  • Bowser: SHUT UP, WOMAN! YOU DON'T CONTROL ME ANYMORE!!
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. (puts her purse on the chair) Yeah. That's what you think. But, let's make it real simple, okay?
  • Bowser: Okay.
  • Sheila: If you write me a check, by now, for a hundred thousand dollars, I get out yo face. And.... I take the kids with me. Mmm.
  • Bowser: I'm not writing a check for $100,000! I don't even think those kids are mine. They don't even look like me. Well they kinda do. But I'm not even sure if they're mine!
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, we'll point out the similarities, when we get the kids in here. WENDY! BRING THE KIDS IN HERE!!
  • Wendy: We're coming, mom. Shut your damn mouth. (the other kids chatter)
  • Sheila: Don't backtalk me!
  • Bowser: Haha. Rude.
  • Sheila: Mm-hmm. Just like your father.

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